WE HAVE BEEN ON THE HIDE OUT

I promise that as soon as I get a few things under control that I will start blogging and I will blog daily. I want Darin to be where he can read and see what all is going on in our lives while he is away and this is such a great thing for me to go back and relive some fun times. Many days I'm always in a hurry , always running 15 min late (and that's on a good day.) Always struggling to gather all of our things together , juggling the different bags the kids might need, scrambling around to meet different dead lines for this and that , and the hardest thing that we have found that we are doing is killing our selves. I think that we know that we have around 35 days and he leaves and he will be gone a few days between then, and we are trying to cram in as much time together as we can so if that means we are staying up until way past midnight just so that we get as much time together as we can, that is what we are doing.
So, although there are so many things going on, I just sometimes hate to sit down and waist time that I could be doing something else to blog. But, in all honesty this is something that I LOVE, i love to read other peoples blogs, I have blog friends that I read, and I can go back and read what happened on certain days, and FAMILY can read and know what all is going on, and that is something that i love. Now tonight, I'm not going to share any Halloween pics, but maybe tomorrow.
Tonight, for my own personal reason I'm going to blog about me. My health over the weekend, remind myself, how bad things got for me so that I start to take better care of myself so that I never feel this way again.
Saturday, Halloween day, I should have woke up all excited, after all the day before my husband sends me awesome fall flowers, I spent the day with my kids schools, we were all into the holiday spirit, but really I wasn't. To be honest I didn't even get out of bed until after 1. And at that time I had to talk myself into getting out of bed, I had the worse head ache i have had in a long time. And I have had major migraines alot, but this was one of the worse. I suffered through put on my happy face and off we went trick or treating. I poured caffeine down like I was going to die if I didn't have any, and then I started taking Motrin, Tylenol all the generic meds I could get my hands on. My our last stop I was so sick I had to lay down on my cousins floor. And poor Darin helped load the car up my kids stayed their all night and I was forever thankful. Bu this time I was so sick my vision was so screwed up we got home my heart was pounding, my head was throbbing we checked my blood pressure to find it was 206/115. This is high, and my husband immediately tells me that we are going to the ER. but stubborn me passes on that and decides it would be to busy and I'm to sick to go to the hospital... long story... i went for next 24 hours like this in bed popping tons of head ache pills, around the clock monitoring my bp, and begging to die. I couldn't get a good breath, at one point Darin sat down beside me and looked like he had tears in his eyes and was like honey I'm so worried lets go to the hospital, as I laid there thinking maybe I really should all the hours of meds finally hit me and I passed out until 5 that afternoon.
We have struggled with this over the weekend i went to the Dr today. My pressure was terrible there they gave me so much meds that I came home and passed out and now I'm getting a shower and going back to bed, they took alot of bled today they need to check out my kidneys and my heart and a few other things. We got my meds changed and I hope I start to feel like my old self soon.

KEEP AN EYE OUT IM GOING TO POST ALOT OF PICS AS SOON AS I FEEL LIKE LOOKING AT THIS COMPUTER FOR MORE THEN A FEW MIN.

Coming Soon!!!

STARTING OCTOBER 1ST IM GOING TO BE DOING BETTER ON MY BLOGGING, LIFE HAS BEEN SO MUCH HARDER THEN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE LATELY, BUT TIME TO GET BACK INVOLVED. STAY TUNED, AND KEEP US IN YOUR PRAYERS WE NEED THEM MORE THEN EVER!!!!

a post that my hubby wrote last year 9/11/08

what i did 7 years ago? Current mood: blessed
I remember the phone call from my roommates brother, Brian, that woke me from my good night sleep. I was off that day which was not my normal day off. I was hoping to get some good sleep. But that phone call was a wake up call in more than that way.
Wake up! They bombed the towers! That is what i heard. I turned on the TV and sat for the whole day. I watched the Towers fall. I saw the second plane hit, live or taped i don't remember. But i will never forget the sight of the tower smoking when the plane hit the second tower. I sat and watch with tears in my eyes knowing that people were trapped. I called Dad and talked with him. I don't remember what he said but i know he gave me a calming talk. But it still hurt to see the sight of those towers.
Then the pentagon got hit and a plane went down near Pittsburgh.. It hurt me to see our country hit. I cried. I sat there thinking what i could do. I wanted to run out my door and help where i could. I was mad that anybody could have done this. They hurt innocent people who were at work. They were innocent. My anger grew with every passing image of what they could do. My country had taken a big hit and we were down. I was down.
How could this happen in this country. This is america and we dont have things happen like that here. How dare they attack us? How dare they come here and us our own planes to bring death to this country? Who do they think they are or were? But we are Americans and we survive.
I thought the whole day what i could do for the families of the victims. I sat sadden by my limited budget. I wanted to donate money but i had none. I wanted to leave and help but I needed to work the next day. I thought and thought what could I do. The one thought that came back was follow Doug, Dad, Grandpa, Uncle Larry, and many in my family. Did I have it in me to do it? Could I make it? That was the day i would give all i could to make sure it would not happen again. I would join the military and fight for my country. I told nobody. But I knew that was all i could give to my country and the fallen from that day.
I love this country and I have been blessed to live here. To watch all i did that day and not feel like running to the recruiter and sign up that day was the hardest thing I fought. They were not open that day anyway. But I decided That day i would give my life for the country that now sat with a black eye.
I pray that we remember what happened that day and never forget the damage that has been left. Remember that was the day we knew were were hated and death wanted on us. It was the day our view changed of the world. Remember we are still a great country. This was only a shot to the face. We stumbled and fell but got back up. We stand taller today. Remember every day the heros of flight 94 and the american spirit shown that day. That is the american spirit.
I love this country and the blessing it has given. It is truely blessed by God.

I JUST HIT A BRICK WALL----

I felt like when this week started off, I was my happy-go0lucky self. I am so blessed to have the life that I have. I have a wonderful husband that I love more then I can tell you, I am a MOTHER, which right there is the biggest blessing in the world.. I have a great home, and my husband is secure in his job, I'm a stay at home mom. I just got an awesome new van. My life is good, until now BOOM- IT HIT ME!!!
When we went to "Meet the Teacher" and the kids schools on Thursday night, it hit me.. My hubby, the kids daddy will not be here for so much this year and next for that matter. With all his training and his deployment he will miss alot.
I have been looking at things months at a time and just forgetting the Long term of it all, and Now I'm not ok with this. I have been so supportive of my hubby while he goes off for all this training as he gets ready for promotion, I have not said "but honey, you will already be gone a year cant you just stay home." NO, being the supportive wife I said honey we will get thru this, this is what you want and I don't want to stand in the way. Its only a few months we can do this...
Like I said- it finally hit me.. My husband will not be here for my kids Fall Festival at school, he will be missing one of their birthdays, he will not be here for fall break, he will not be here for Halloween, he will not be here when they get their school awards, he will not be here when they get out of school, he will not be here for any summer fun, he will not be here for fireworks on the 4Th of July, he will not be here for any birthdays next year, he will not be there when Brayden changes schools into a new special ed program, he will miss his evaluation, he will miss meet the teacher night, there is sooooo much that will change. He will miss it all, I will send him pictures and notes and letters, and emails but he will not be here. And sometimes its hard!!!!!
Then today as I wasn't already down, he tells me he may go to a new unit, something I didn't want to hear, I have made relationships with these families, he is at hometown unit, I'm minutes away from being involved, or I can pass his unit every day and feel like I'm watching over him. Instead he has been offered to go to a unit that's nearly an hour away, and i have already been that far away before and I was left out of a Family Support because I couldn't drive that hour to be involved and it sucked! So I was really happy that I would have the support of being local, I don't know what he has decided, frankly i just shut down the army talk with him, I CANT GO ON ANY FURTHER TODAY!
Pray that tomorrow I get my head on my shoulders and able to be there for anyone that needs me, but tonight I'm weak and I HAVE HIT THAT BRICK WALL, and it hurts!!!!

If I could hold time in a bottle-

I just want to say, you know that there are days that our life is so busy, that we just rush, rush and rush, try to get everything into one day. But today, you know I'm just sad. I wish that we could make time stand still. I would love to enjoy every single minute with my babies , they are going back to school in one week. And I cant stand it. So for the rest of this week, I'm going to try to slow down and enjoy some time with my babies, let the house go if need be. These floors will be here in 2 weeks to be cleaned but my babies will not. The next 2 days my hubby has taken off to spend some time with us as well, and I'm blessed to have that time with him. He will be traveling alot for the nest couple months while getting ready for his deployment, it makes me sick, but until then I'm going to enjoy every minute with him.

And I had to share this picture, I pray that these boys walk thru life hand in hand, side by side and know that they are best friends and I hope that they will always be there for each other, I'm proud my little boys!

This and That

OK i know that i have been terrible at blogging lately but so many things have been going on, I bought new living room furniture, and redid Khloes room for the 3rd time and sweet baby she is only 14 months old. Now we are preparing to go back to school, I can not tell you how I hate this, I love my kids being at home with me, we are such homebodies.. But anyway I know that they will be better off with the school routine. A lot of other things have been going on ever since June mentally I have been somewhere else, places that I should be letting my mind go to, but its so hard. I have got to start making myself come on here and just share what all I am feeling and blog about it, as I sit around and watch the news there seems to be so much negative going on, right now my heart is stuck on this one family that their son is on his first tour, and he is being held captive and to watch that video of him eating, he is eating as if he were hungry, he is talking and you know he is scared. I know that his family is worried sick, I am worried sick for that family, as I laid in bed on Monday night I was awake until 4:30 living in this world of "what ifs", and I just cant stand it... I pray for each and every military family out there... Say a little prayer for our family we still have a few months with Darin but we do know he is for sure leaving and the few months that he is home, every single month he will be gone a week or two or even tree weeks at a time so we will have him coming home and changing and doing laundry and leaving again and we get all this up until he leaves, just be near and pray for us, I love him and each and every solider we have....

MISSING IN ACTION

Last Wednesday afternoon around 2 my hubby sent me a text and told me he was off until Monday, we were so excited, we were going to be able to have a nice long relaxing weekend, well i was getting ready to take khloe to the pool and for about 30 min i thought about it and sent Darin a text and said lets go somewhere lets take the kids and get away for a few days we will be back by Saturday to celebrate the 4Th with all our family, so we started googling the beach from my cell, for i was at the pool, then we thought that it was 10 hours away, and we wanted to leave as soon as he got off of work, he was still laughing i guess thinking that i would change my mind, but i didn't. I got my dad and sis to watch all the kids I ran home started packing, looked up a few more details and decided my hubby and the boys had never been to the mountains, and it was only 3 and half hours away, so when he got off at 430 we finished packing and some what cleaning our house, and by 6 we were out of here, booked our hotel, and off we were. I WILL post pics tomorrow and give you more details of the trip but AI wanted to let every one know where we had been, it was such a great get away and something that we need to do every other month just go somewhere. Now I'm tired so off to bed I must go!