I JUST HIT A BRICK WALL----

I felt like when this week started off, I was my happy-go0lucky self. I am so blessed to have the life that I have. I have a wonderful husband that I love more then I can tell you, I am a MOTHER, which right there is the biggest blessing in the world.. I have a great home, and my husband is secure in his job, I'm a stay at home mom. I just got an awesome new van. My life is good, until now BOOM- IT HIT ME!!!
When we went to "Meet the Teacher" and the kids schools on Thursday night, it hit me.. My hubby, the kids daddy will not be here for so much this year and next for that matter. With all his training and his deployment he will miss alot.
I have been looking at things months at a time and just forgetting the Long term of it all, and Now I'm not ok with this. I have been so supportive of my hubby while he goes off for all this training as he gets ready for promotion, I have not said "but honey, you will already be gone a year cant you just stay home." NO, being the supportive wife I said honey we will get thru this, this is what you want and I don't want to stand in the way. Its only a few months we can do this...
Like I said- it finally hit me.. My husband will not be here for my kids Fall Festival at school, he will be missing one of their birthdays, he will not be here for fall break, he will not be here for Halloween, he will not be here when they get their school awards, he will not be here when they get out of school, he will not be here for any summer fun, he will not be here for fireworks on the 4Th of July, he will not be here for any birthdays next year, he will not be there when Brayden changes schools into a new special ed program, he will miss his evaluation, he will miss meet the teacher night, there is sooooo much that will change. He will miss it all, I will send him pictures and notes and letters, and emails but he will not be here. And sometimes its hard!!!!!
Then today as I wasn't already down, he tells me he may go to a new unit, something I didn't want to hear, I have made relationships with these families, he is at hometown unit, I'm minutes away from being involved, or I can pass his unit every day and feel like I'm watching over him. Instead he has been offered to go to a unit that's nearly an hour away, and i have already been that far away before and I was left out of a Family Support because I couldn't drive that hour to be involved and it sucked! So I was really happy that I would have the support of being local, I don't know what he has decided, frankly i just shut down the army talk with him, I CANT GO ON ANY FURTHER TODAY!
Pray that tomorrow I get my head on my shoulders and able to be there for anyone that needs me, but tonight I'm weak and I HAVE HIT THAT BRICK WALL, and it hurts!!!!