OH MY!!!!

Don't say that I didn't warn you, that as the week came to a close I got more and more emotional then with each minute and mile that passed it got worse and worse. I hate good-byes... Here we are about to leave the hotel... I love this man.
Here is one of our biggest supports, my aunt. She is my rock and always there for me, I don't know what I would do without her, and perhaps with her backing me up maybe that where some of this extra strength is coming from...

My mom is more like me, we cant pull ourselves together. I love my mom. She is my best friend, I can fuss at her, bless her she takes it, I can cry and she will cry with me, she can nag me do death about cleaning my house, but no matter what she is always there for me. She loves her son-in-law.. To this day we cant hardly talk about Darin without us crying normally if I'M crying she cries... Bless her heart.

LET THE TEARS BEGIN--- (notice my poor mom crying in every pic, this is why you cant see me I could barely stay strong so my kids could get there good- byes over with it)

Daddy and Ethan did pretty good, poor Ethan had no idea how long daddy would be gone, Darin was gone alot this last year and he thought it would be like that this time, and to much of his surprise daddy is gone for a longer time, and he is having a pretty hard time. We are talking to a councilor at school and thankful for all the support out there.

Brayden is daddy boy, this was a harder good- bye. Brayden says daily how much he misses daddy and please bring him home. Is daddy stuck at the hotel? HE really don't understand but bless him they are such sweet kids.

Then mommy lost it....

WE had a hard time saying good -bye . Darin is the love of my life. WE have lots of problems, we disagree alot, but never ever a day goes by that we are not thankful for each other and know that we are always there for one another, and he supports me in all that I do, and I try my hardest to show him all the support in the world.

The next time I hug his neck. Ill be just as tearful, but thankful happy tears....

Military Marriage...

I really don't know how to start this post, I have really been meaning to update more then this and I will soon, this was just my first week into deployment and I want to make sure that I journal all of our lives for the family to see and to journal it for Darin to look back and read or if he get s a minute maybe he can catch up over in Ir*q who knows... But anyway, this week has been a roller coaster week for me, I started off doing really well, actually really well, I was really surprised at myself then by Thursday it hit me.. who am I kidding I'M not this strong person that I think that I am, I'M weak. My kids are having a hard time with this already and yes to you all it has only been a week and he is coming home for Christmas, but for our little family in the last 4 months Darin has come and gone so much the kids don't know what is going on so to say the least they are having a hard time. By Thursday Ethan has decided that he HATES me , he HATES me for his daddy being gone. He HATES me because our family is not normal, he HATES me because his daddy is in the army, he HATES me because everyone else has there daddy home ( little does he know about divorce, ha) he HATES me because I'm the worse mom in the world, because I cant give him ALL my attention there are 2 other little ones that need me, he HATES me because he has school 5 days a week, I'M telling you when I took him to school Thursday he begged me not to pick him he HATES me and if this is how it was going to be around our house and his daddy was going to go to war and carry a gun he wants a new family... So to say the least my kids are having a hard time. Which makes me have a hard time....
I went to our Family Readiness Gr@up on Saturday and we were all talking and it was so nice to know that everything my kids are going thru is all normal and it will get better, but it was also refreshing to hear people talk about their marriages, not good for them, but they were talking about how they hated their husbands for leaving, they didn't know if their marriages would last thru this deployment, one wife said that she knows that she probably will not be here when they come home, and one wife that I was shocked to hear that her husband has stopped talking to her for about a month to detach from family life, wow.. Like I said this was sad on their part, but refreshing for me, selfish of me --- um yeah! But it makes me happy to know that no part of me hates my hubby for leaving, I'M not mad, yes I'M sad but defiantly not mad! I know that my marriage will last thru this deployment, if it is anything like last time it made our marriage stronger, Darin and I had great communication skills we learned that we were always here for one another, and that our marriage was going to be just fine, Now all that said it doesn't mean that yes we send OUR husbands off and they come back the same person , they don't. They come back forever changed, I remember my husband came home and was very quiet, distant, we took a little adjusting to being who we were, but we didn't love each other in less. But all of this is normal when your in a military marriage.. You have to learn to not ask questions, let your spouse talk, be there when they are ready to talk, listen don't judge them, be ready for them to criticize the things you do while they are gone, secretly they are jealous that you can do things without them.. yeah i learn that I can live without him, I can take our the trash, I can get the yard mowed, yeah I can manage 3 kids, I can do all these things by myself, do i i want to do these things by myself, do I want to be by myself? Not for a minute.. We make the best team of parents, we are best friends and we can get thru it all. we are living in this military marriage, and I'M THANKFUL, that I know we are going to be just fine....